Dharma School for Kids: Metta Paramita: Loving-Kindness

The metta paramita, or loving-kindness, is one of the additional paramitas found in the Theravadin tradition, not our Mahayana tradition. (We share the 6 basic paramitas, and each branch of Buddhism has an additional 4 different paramitas, not all of which I will try to cover this year.) Loving-kindness, though, has seeped its way into much of American Buddhism and even into mainstream consciousness, so I felt it important to introduce this to the girls.

For this first lesson in January, after our check-in, I intended to have a little discussion about loving-kindness, and how we start with wishing ourselves and loved ones well, and widen that circle. I wanted to introduce the concept first, before leading them in a guided loving-kindness meditation. In a moment of inspiration and expediency, I decided to keep our checkin talking circle going and bring the idea out of the girls themselves. As usual, they were eager to chat and renew bonds after the December break; this channeled that energy.

I asked the girls to share with us someone they cared about, someone they wished to be well, and happy. The questions arose, "Could it be any being? A pet? A rock? It has to be breathing?" We established that I was looking for a living, breathing being. One girl cared about the tree she liked to climb, and recently lost a limb. A pattern quickly established that the girls wished their pets well: their dogs, cats, fish... (And I learned that bonding between girls this age means they will likely name similar things, and will give caring mews in response when tales of pets woe are shared.) No one wanted to say Mom or Dad "because it's obvious." We went around a second time, reiterating that we were talking about things we love that we want to be well, and be happy, no harm done to them.

Then, for meditation, I had the girls lie down, making sure they were comfortable and not touching each other. I took my cue from instruction I found here by a local teacher, Greg Kramer. He has done this guided meditation with his children at bedtime, always giving them the choice to do it or not.

Once they got settled I said, softly and getting softer:

When I ring the bell I want you to be quiet and still. When people do this metta meditation by themselves, they say it in their head. So when I say these words, I want you to think them along with me in your head. Q: do we close our eyes? It might be a good idea, but you don't have to. Now, when I ring the bell, I want you to stop moving, so you won't be a distraction to others.

Now, feel your head against your pillow....your hands next to your body...feel your breath going in and out... Now I said loving-kindness is this meditation. Think about how we can put those two together, think about how we talked about those we wished to be well.

easing right into Greg Kramer's meditation:

Send lovingkindness to yourself.
Really love yourself.
Want yourself to be happy.
Think:

I love myself.
May I be free from anger.
May I be free from sadness.
May I be free from pain.
(I really want to be free from pain.)
May I be free from difficulties.
May I be free from all suffering.
May I be healthy.
May my body be healthy and strong.
May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I know the joy of generosity and love.
May I be happy.
May I really be happy.
May I be at peace.

I spread this lovingkindness out.
I send love to Dad and Mom.
May Mom and Dad be free from difficulties.
May they be free from pain and sadness.
May they be free from attachment,
Free from anger and ill will.
May they be free from all suffering.
May Mom and Dad be healthy and happy.
Completely healthy and happy.
May they be at peace.

I send lovingkindness to both my brothers.
May they be free from sadness and anger.
May they be free from sickness.
May they be free from all suffering.
May they be happy and free.
Free from suffering, free from difficulties.
May they be well and happy.
May they be at peace.

I send lovingkindness to my teachers and the kids at school
(Even the ones I don't know).
May they all be free from sorrow and suffering.
May they be free from anger and difficulties.
May they be happy.
Free from all difficulties and sadness.
May they be well and happy.
May they be at peace.

I send love now to all the people
I don't know everywhere on the earth.
May all beings on the planet be free from suffering.
May they be free from pain, grief, and despair.
May they be happy,
Truly happy.
May they be at peace.
May all beings in the universe be free from suffering.
May all beings in all universes,
everywhere,
be free from suffering.
May they be well and happy.
May they be at peace.

May all beings of all kinds, in all directions,
be happy and at peace.
Above and below,
Near and far,
High and low.
All types of beings.
Humans and non-humans.
Seen and unseen.
All the animals, birds, and fish.
All beings and creatures,
With no exceptions.
May they all be happy.
May they be free.

Humbly, I open my heart and accept the lovingkindness
of every being and creature in return.
I let that love into my heart.
And I share the benefits of this
meditation with every one.

May all beings be well and happy.
May all beings be well and happy.
May all beings be well and happy.

May there be peace.
May there be peace.
May there be peace.

For the activity we did watercolor with crayon-resist drawings. I asked them "to draw something from in your heart." Something that arose for during the metta meditation or during our discussion. About something that arose that really made their heart tingle. It could be a symbol.