Nehan Instruction and Meditation

We have a little time before the ceremony to give instruction.

As I've noted elsewhere, I've found it helps with ceremonies to give some guided instruction during meditation. Then they have time for a quick check-in, which I use as a way for them to think about their roles in the ceremony. In this case, I gave instruction first, and I borrowed a technique from another tradition, Worship Sharing of the Friends. I explained it was kind of like combining their check-in with meditation.

I shared the story of the woman and the mustard seed to introduce death and loss.

  The Buddha met a woman who had lost her baby son. She was devastated. She had heard the Buddha could perform miracles. So she went to the Buddha, and she was holding her son, and she said, "Buddha, can you bring my son back?"
  The Buddha could see she was very distressed, and there wasn't much he could say, so he said, "I want you to go to every household in this area. If you can find a household that has never experienced loss, bring me a mustard seed from that household."
  So that woman did that. She went to every household and found out the losses that people had experienced. Doing that, she realized that she was not alone, that everybody experiences loss.  She was able to start letting go of her baby that she had lost.
  Finally she came back to the Buddha. He said, "Do you have a mustard seed for me?" And she told him, "No, I don't. But I'm ready now to let go of my son."

That is what our ceremony is about today, I said. There are people that come into our lives, and they go away, they die. Here is an explanation of the Nehan Ceremony. Then, the worship sharing medition...I explained that we don't sit so formally like we do with our regular meditation. We face each other, but don't want to be too distracting to others. If we feel like we have something we wish to share, we do that.

Nehan Ceremony

During the month of February, we at Dharma Rain Zen Center celebrate Nehan, the anniversary of the Buddha's death. Also known as Parinirvana Day, all the children in Dharma School come together for our ceremony.

One week the children celebrate, and the full sangha celebrates Nehan on an adjoining week. Always on these days a special statue appears on the altar, created by our own co-abbot, Gyokuko Carlson. On Nirvana Day, the Buddha is traditionally depicted lying down. The story comes to us that the Buddha knew he was ill and dying, and he sent for his followers to gather. While lying on his deathbed, he gave his final teaching. Also found in the artwork are the followers, along with many grieving animals and mythical creatures, expressing their deep sorrow over losing their beloved teacher.

Before the ceremony the classes separate. In the girls group, we have just enough time for meditation and a quick check-in. I chose to use the time for a guided meditation, as I did in the past for the Children's Rohatsu Ceremony. I've noticed the girls can get very still as they listen to simple, soft instruction. Giving them some moments of stillness, I then ask them to think about loss that they've experienced, whether someone they knew died, or they lost a pet, or perhaps they lost a friend who moved away. While the children often have already experienced death in some way, it helps to introduce the notion of loss in other ways as well. During check-in, we discussed the topic some more, then it was time for the ceremony.

For the first part of the ceremony all the children gather in front of the altar. Gyokuko sits to the side, waiting expectantly for the kids to become quiet. She directs their attention to the statue, and solicits names of animals depicted on it from the kids. Through this she finds a way into the story of Buddha's death. Every year the storytelling will be a little different, but she will always highlight the grief everyone felt including the animals, and that the Buddha's lesson was for them not to grieve, but to "be a light unto themselves." His followers were so sad because they depended on his wisdom, but the Buddha wanted them to know they had their own wisdom, their own light to draw upon.

After the story of Buddha's death, the children draw pictures of losses they have experienced in the past year or so. After our separate discussion, the girls were quite ready to draw their pictures. While the drawing is going on, a few older kids build a fire. The ceremony begins: children and adults chant the Maka Hannya Haramita Shingyo, and one by one the pictures and symbols of loss are put in the fire, an act of letting go and letting those experiences move on to their next life.